Discuss the irony in Oates' short story, "Where Are You Going? Where Have You Been?"

The starting point of defining irony might help here.  The
critical element in the definition is the idea of
incongruity:

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.... [a] situation in which there is a sharp
incongruity or discordance that goes beyond the simple and evident intention of words or
actions. Ironic statements (verbal irony) often convey a meaning exactly opposite from
their literal meaning.

We can
see this at several points in the story.  Consider Arnold Friend's name written on his
gold jalopy:  "A. Friend."  Arnold is about the most divergent example of a friend that
one could envision.  Another irony is Connie, herself.  Connie is shown as the typical
teen who loves and revels her independence, something of which she is in perceived
considerable control.  This is ironic between at the end of the story, she is nowhere
near in control of her identity and the situation in which she is at the end of the
story.  I would also think that the title of the story is ironic.  Connie's parents are
so detached from her state of being in the world that they cannot even ask the
fundamental questions of "Where are you going?" or "Where have you been?"  The irony of
this is not missed given the ending of the story.  Oates might be suggesting that had
the parents been able to ask such questions and ascertain such answers, Connie's
interaction with "A. Friend" might not have needed to have
happened.